Without being racist you can honest and the truth is, it looks bizarre to see a couple that are from vastly different backgrounds. It is odd to see a white Irish with a black African. It’s odd, for that matter, to see a white African with a black Irish. It is odd to see a Korean and Mexican. It is odd to an Indian with a Puerto Rican (no matter what race, and no, Puerto Rican is not a race). It is odd because we expect people to be attracted to people that look like them. It is further perplexing when the people are not only of different races but different cultures. When people adopt outside their race, it’s commendable. However, when a white woman has a black daughter, she needs to study up on black hair. Bad enough black people need to learn how to take care of their hair (see: snatch-ponytails, “Black Hair”- Chris Rock).
I am always fascinated by what people’s parents look like. I’m fascinated by people that look exactly like their parents….I wonder what that must be like. I am fascinated by people that look nothing like their parents and wonder what that must be like. Oddly, I am not fascinated by doppelgangers. I figure with the amount of people living and dead, there were only but so many combinations of features–there was bound to be some repeats.
In casual conversation (about who or what I do not recall, but) referencing interracial babies, a black girl said to me: I just don’t agree with bringing confused babies into the world. I didn’t reply. My immediate response would have been to look her dead in the eye and plainly declare, “how ignorant of you.” But what kept me quiet was knowing that she was the one that was confused. She was the one that is a black girl wearing a relaxer in her hair. Might she be confused about the natural texture or maybe denial, avoidance…the bottom line is that she is not comfortable with her natural hair texture so she reconditions her hair to mimic that of Europeans. Sure, it’s “easier to manage”, but it breaks to the extent that females will walk around with snatch-ponytails made of barely an inch of spiky, broken, overstretched hair. This is not an attack on those that choose to relax their hair; to each his own–the point is that everyone is coming to terms with their appearance and fitting in. Since no one picks their parents or their own features, I don’t think there’s all that much confusion. When your parents are different races you just know that your mother looks like A and father looks like B and that is why you look like C. What is there to be confused about? What’s more, given that she is a black American, with a European last name by birth (and marriage)–I’m willing to bet there were some house niggers and mulatto children in her family tree. Confused?…oh! confused about where they fit in! And therein lies her problem. She’s trying to fit in. She’s not trying to break the mold, not even scratch the surface. She thinks she must stick to her kind; as if black people aren’t self-destructive. She must stick to her own kind because she has everything in common with people that never ventured out into the world. She must stick to her own kind because her own kind sticks together and that’s just the way it is, no need to question. The fact is, she wants to belong to something bigger. She wants to feel more powerful and these securities she seeks externally. I didn’t say anything because her words spoke volumes and resolved the matter in my mind that the issue was hers and that it was deep. Moreover, I can name a barrage of celebrities that –if they were ever confused, figured it out: President of the United States of America!!! Halle Berry, Bob Marley, Alicia Keys, Wentworth Miller, Vin Diesel Maya Rudolph, Lenny Kravitz, Lisa Bonet, Maxwell, Rosario Dawson, Mariah Carey…(not an exhaustive list; hopefully you get the point)