-you don’t have to like it or admit it but it’s REAL and you have it

So often, a person will specify, “I’m not scared of […] I just don’t like it”.  No one likes to admit fear because of an associated stigma.  Sometimes it is actually the case, that one is not fearful and that the object or activity is simply distasteful.  Those instances are not applicable to this post.

Fear is a good thing for the most part–it keeps us alive.  However, it inhibits us from doing things that will not cause us death, harm, embarrassment, or other loss.  People fear failure.  Fear keeps people from leaving unfulfilling/destructive relationships.  Fear keeps people from leaving their jobs to pursue their dreams.  Fear keeps people from leaving their comfort zone to explore what the rest of the world has to offer.

How do you know if it’s fear?  Well, normally, it starts off with excuses–many of which are viable.  But then there comes a time when years have passed and the excuses are never exhausted but still the goal remains way out of reach.  It’s fear when your excuses are nothing more than that- excuses.  These excuses can be resolved or overcome, but instead, they are given the authority to dictate actions and major decisions.

Why it matters that you recognize your fears is simple: it’s the only way to overcome them.   As long as you keep dancing around the fundamental issue, you will never resolve it.  An easy example: pursuing a better career.   Let’s say that you have a wife and 3 kids and you work a corporate job with benefits and ample compensation, but you are utterly unfulfilled, unhappy and approaching a mid-life crisis.  You have always wanted to be a volunteer fireman, but that ship has sailed.  You also wanted to have your own business offering your professional services and working from a small office close to or within your home.  You don’t pursue this path because when you mentioned it to your wife, she told you that it wasn’t a sure-thing and that the family was doing well with the income that was coming in.  you don’t want the argument so you continue to work in this position for years to come.  Albeit a legitimate excuse that you do not want to have an argument with your wife, it is just that–an excuse.  And although the income and benefits are good, they are not making you happy–fulfilling your self-worth.  What is really holding you back is fear that you will struggle and it will not all have been worthwhile.  That is a matter of perception and will have to be dealt with as it comes along, ‘for nothing in life is guaranteed, nothing is forever; not struggle, not happiness and not the job security that you may think you have.  If it is the case that your livelihood is dependent upon a paycheck from this employer, it is not absolutely impractical that you should decide that you want to be your own employer and be in better control of your financial future.

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