confused babies

In casual conversation (about who or what I do not recall, but) referencing interracial babies, a black girl said to me: I just don’t agree with bringing confused babies into the world.  I didn’t reply.  My immediate response would have been to look her dead in the eye and plainly declare, “how ignorant of you.”  But what kept me quiet was knowing that she was the one that was confused.  She was the one that is a black girl wearing a relaxer in her hair.  Might she be confused about the natural texture or maybe denial, avoidance…the bottom line is that she is not comfortable with her natural hair texture so she reconditions her hair to mimic that of Europeans.  Sure, it’s “easier to manage”, but it breaks to the extent that females will walk around with snatch-ponytails made of barely an inch of spiky, broken, overstretched hair.  This is not an attack on those that choose to relax their hair;  to each his own–the point is that everyone is coming to terms with their appearance and fitting in.  Since no one picks their parents or their own features, I don’t think there’s all that much confusion.  When your parents are different races you just know that your mother looks like A and father looks like B and that is why you look like C.  What is there to be confused about? What’s more, given that she is a black American, with a European last name by birth (and marriage)–I’m willing to bet there were some house niggers and mulatto children in her family tree.   Confused?…oh! confused about where they fit in!  And therein lies her problem.  She’s trying to fit in.  She’s not trying to break the mold, not even scratch the surface.  She thinks she must stick to her kind; as if black people aren’t self-destructive.  She must stick to her own kind because she has everything in common with people that never ventured out into the world.  She must stick to her own kind because her own kind sticks together and that’s just the way it is, no need to question.  The fact is, she wants to belong to something bigger.  She wants to feel more powerful and these securities she seeks externally.  I didn’t say anything because her words spoke volumes and resolved the matter in my mind that the issue was hers and that it was deep.  Moreover, I can name a barrage of celebrities that –if they were ever confused, figured it out: President of the United States of America!!! Halle Berry, Bob Marley, Alicia Keys, Wentworth Miller, Vin Diesel  Maya Rudolph, Lenny Kravitz, Lisa Bonet, Maxwell, Rosario Dawson, Mariah Carey…(not an exhaustive list; hopefully you get the point)

By Avery Michaels Posted in Race

Ethics in Science

On the Science Channel, there’s even promo states that it[science] “sometimes goes too far” .  e.g. Russia:  what woman would volunteer to bear the child of an ape?  But then, it’s not science, in and of itself that goes too far, but humans, with how they choose to incorporate and experiment with it.  It comes down to money and mental illness.  Both of which explain why a woman would volunteer to bear an ape.

Ethics are the boundary—an apparently diminishing one.  Ethics change with knowledge.  When you learn that what you deem to be so inappropriate, either has no effect on your life, or that what you believed was actually incorrect, you put away your gavel and open yourself to learning even more.  Gay marriage: if it has no effect on the sanctity of your marriage why cast your nose up against someone else’s decision?  Why would you be so concerned with who someone else is sleeping with?  Apparently heterosexuals aren’t professionals in the marriage arena—in the US more than half of marriages end in divorce—and it’s not a secret.  People are already rampantly defiling and defying the sacred vows they took  notwithstanding gay rights.  So, after you come to terms with the fact of the matter, rather than your feeling toward the matter, you decide to move aside and not stand in the way of someone else’s natural right to choose a partner with whom to share their life and intimacy.

Stem cell research and cloning.  If you believe in God and His creation of the human soul, cloning is definitely a no-no.  The stigma attached to it is that it is not natural—like homosexuality.  But, unless the definition of natural has changed, homosexuality is quite natural, it’s just not productive. In fact, if the whole premise of coitus is to copulate and procreate, then homosexuality can serve as a method of birth control.   Still, if something is not natural, it cannot fall under the rules of God, and therefore it is ‘the other’– which we most commonly correlate to the devil/evil or other dark forces.  As for cloning, how can a person be a real person not having been spawn naturally, as the result of the wonderful bond between a man and a woman that commit themselves—their lives to each other?  Then came along artificial insemination.  Ideas change when your own personal needs change such as when you find out your church-going teenager is expecting a child and you stop lending judgment to the parents of children that do not go to church yet have managed to keep it tucked in.  Then again, there are even the people for whom, not even that reality check is enough to wake them from their fog.

our regularly scheduled programming

Jean Pierre’s”The Universe” is like science class for adults. I also like Michio Kaku as a teacher. We have the option of using cable to broaden our scopes, rather than to “keep up with the Kardashians”. There is an obvious misplacement of interests. We would rather be distracted by garbage. We learned in school and then forgot; learned in college and then relearned in the workforce…but it doesn’t stop there. There are lessons to be learned that are not taught in either arena. Rather than watch “nickjr”. why not have children watch “pbskids” (which doesn’t have commercials trying to sell you anything between programs and all the programs are blatantly educational but still entertaining). We feel like we are missing out on something and trying to live vicariously. Of course, there are those of us watching religious programming all day—again, highly limiting. There is so much more to learn. The history and science channels are relatively unbiased and offer vital information for everyday life. Filling your head with superficial garbage, being constantly distracted by sex and glamor—spending time watching other people live their lives –wanting to have their lives, be they real or make-believe, wasting the time we could spend investing in our own lives and of those around us.

things we tell people in the name of GOD

A woman invites her friend to yoga.  The friend, newly converted, albeit devout, Jehovah’s Witness declines. She declines based on the notion that yoga has pagan origins.  She goes on to quote Bible verses and explains that she will not disobey or disregard the Word.  My response- speak of pagan, it was as though she scrolled the word, “friendship” on cheesecloth and set it afire.  That is the divisive power of religion.

I heard a discussion among a group of young adults. One of the females was talking about Illuminati and it’s prevalence in today’s society, pop culture, and specifically, JayZ & Co. Another person called it ‘bull’-that it’s about the psychology of selling an image/brand.product. The first one insists that the connection to the original secret society and the selling of the soul are real and gives an ominous warning about what is really behind he success of these artists–demons and dark forces that the average public does not perceive. Then, a 3rd person, witnessing the skepticism, chimes in to lend consolation: “people will think what they want to think. Now the schools are teaching evolution (spoken with dismay)” First female interjects “oh my God, I can’t believe that.” Third female, “Right, I mean, my feeling is that someone had to be the creator” First female, “right–I don’t believe it all came from nothing, like ‘the big bang'”.

I came across this page, which relates to the topic:

Now…there are some scientists that refute the notion of the big bang. There has been no scientist, or other person for that matter that can prove the existence of God and in attempting to disprove the big bang, there efforts have resulted in alternate non-creationist theories. Why would you rather not know all the information there is to know if it is for no other reason than fear? We fear that we have spent so long believing what’s not true. We fear that if we let go of what we know, we may not know anything as well ever again. We fear that if there is no God, there is no afterlife and that the sufferings of the world and life are real and inescapable. We fear that the gore, cruelty, debauchery, corruption, insanity, hate, injustice, horrific elements of life are just that–the stuff of life; we either take it or leave it. Eastern and Middle-Eastern societies are a bit more accepting of the latter while Western Societies frown upon suicide.

We believe what we choose to believe- real or imaginery

Do you believe in the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy or Stork? Do you believe in Santa or the leprechaun at the end of the rainbow? Do you believe that the Earth is flat and revolves around the sun? Do you believe that the Milky Way is the only solar system? …then why the hell must you believe that the world was created in 6 days and that God made Man in his own image?
I gotta admit. It sounds great; fantastical. The notion of the Garden of Eden, heaven in the afterlife…cloud hopping for eternity, angels with wings hovering over loved ones as guardian angels… then along comes logic and (as I repeatedly implore you) you apply what you already know and suddenly all of it seems like a fairy tale. What we know is that myths, legends, fairy tales are age-old mechanisms by which to explain what we could not otherwise fathom. They also serve as stories with morals; how to treat others, lessons to be learned and mistakes to avoid. They may act as advice about situations common to most people and cultures around the world, which is why they maintain longevity. Religious works, the Torah, the Qur’an, the Bible…they too, are timeless and you can find lessons in these books that are applicable to present-day scenarios; but like the stuff of legends, these are not to be taken literally. Even if they were taken literally at the time they were written, it no longer makes sense to interpret them so strictly with all the information to answer questions that these works serve to resolve. We know a million-fold more about the past than our ancestors, giving us a much better understanding of the world around us. We now know to be true theories that were proposed by the ‘thinkers’, scientists and philosophers of yester year; hence we understand thunderstorms and floods and no longer need to sacrifice animal or human lives to appease the gods…

fight or flight

Fear is more prevalent in regular decision-making than we give credit. Fight or flight is not exclusive to times of conflict. Fear is a learned survival mechanism. Fear dictates how we conduct our lives. This is not necessarily a bad thing. The problem lies in the following:

  • not being able to admit to yourself that you fear at all
  • not being able to perceive what it is that your fear ultimately
  • making excuses for not confronting fear
  • thinking that we can be successful at anything without facing fear

I will illustrate this point with multiple examples.

A person stays in an abusive relationship from age 17 to 38 due to fear.  She may say that it’s because she takes her vows seriously, she may say that she doesn’t believe in divorce, she may say she is doing it for the kids, she may say that things are getting better, but consider this:

  • you may take your vows very seriously, but marriage is reciprocal; just one person can’t be all in; just one person cannot honor their vows.  When it’s all said and done, at the least what one should have in a marriage from their partner is respect.
  • you may not believe in divorce but do you believe in murder.  Do you know the statistics for women in jail behind killing/seriously injuring their abuser?  This is applicable to men as well, but more often women.  And you may not believe in divorce, but do you believe in wasting your life being unhappy?
  • you may say you’re doing it for the kids, but it’s a fact that you are probably doing more harm than good.  Divorce and single parents are too frequent and common to still be using this excuse.  Women are no longer required to be housewives and dependents.  What you are doing is teaching your child how to stay in a toxic relationship.
  • you may say things are getting better…he hasn’t done that in awhile, but you already know what the person is capable of.  Domestic conflicts only escalate.  If you thought it was bad last time, one time it’s going to be worse than that.  That day will be one that you regret for the rest of your life.

What is really going on is fear.  Fear of standing on your own as an adult and a mother.  Having spend more than half your life and your entire adulthood with the same partner through thick and thin (or thick and thicker), you develop codependence.  You cannot imagine who you would raise the children on your own, or how to explain the separation without making them resent one of you.  There is fear of the unknown.  Only once you acknowledge and accept that fear can you address it.  Thing is, more people than not will just put up with it.

“Wisdom is knowing what to do next. Virtue is doing it.” ~ David Starr Jordan